Thursday, May 17, 2007

please appologize for bursting my bubble

i feel so weird after work today. I worked 1-9 and my bosses weren't there, so it was only me and another that I hadn't worked with before. It was just such a dead shift, which I knew it would be. Thursdays always are apparently. So we tried clothes and earrings on and talked a lot. I found out that she used to be pretty much a crack head in high school, which was interesting. She said she would totally do it all again if she had the chance. After several hours of talking about drugs and drinking and music (yay, the part I could relate too), I just felt so weird.

By the end of the night I felt like I had a spiritual infection or something. It's been a whole year that I've lived in a Christian bubble where my friends all have same or similar convictions about the way they live their lives, and all of a sudden I'm being thrust into a world where people live so differently from me. Drastically different. Usually my bosses are around so we obviously can't talk about the things we were talking about tonight, and I know I didn't overstep any of my own boundaries... but it was just weird. I was reminded of High School when I was the only one who was living the way I do and I always felt the tug/desire of wanting to fit in with my peers and knowing I shouldn't/couldn't. But sometimes I was so close to it, and after tonight I see that I am not free from that; I am not 'in the clear' and I probably will never be. I guess I need to take more of an offensive stance in my spiritual life and prayer life rather than a defensive stance. Weird. I really hope this whole summer isn't like this. What a wake-up call. Welcome to the real world

1 comment:

Jonathan P said...

Oh man, I so know what you mean. I had a moment like that back in September when I was hanging out with all the frosh bosses. Never hung out with non-Christian friends for that long before, and yeah it was odd.

Not an easy temptation to fight that's for sure... I remember that night I came this close to smoking pot >_>

By the grace of God, I didn't. But I'll be praying for ya :)