So I'm applying to be a residence don for next academic year. Although I'm no longer sure why. It seems that when I make assumptions about my future & it comes time to actually make them happen, I start seriously questioning, "why am I doing this?" I think it's a good thing, in some ways because it prevents me from going into things blindly or habitually.
But in questioning "why am I doing this?" I couldn't find an answer. I don't know if I want to be a don because it means making changes in my life that I'm not sure I want to make. It will require me to be less selfish and frankly, being selfish is comfortable. It means that I have to make decisions right now about how I want to spend my time & maybe that's a good thing. Maybe it'll save me from selling my soul to C4C. For once I've been living in a Christian bubble, and it's comfortable. I'm always the one that's against going to Christian Universities because it's not like the real world, and here I am wanting to stay in the non-real world. I dunno, I just already feel like my life is so busy right now. Adding something else means taking away/neglecting other things.
I guess first years need an example of a person who believes in God & isn't a complete loser. And frosh Christians need a support-base. And I need to learn to be less selfish.... something God has really been hitting home the last couple of days. Just how selfish and proud I am.
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2 comments:
The Christian Bubble is comforting... the world is a strange and wonky place... as I discovered this fall.
Any progress on whether you want to apply to be a don next year or no? That would be awesome if you did manage to get into such a position of influence on other students.
i definitely decided to do it just after I posted that!
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