I just realized how alone I feel. I have this huge "support network" with people @ C4C, with my housemates and with my family, but I feel so dreadfully alone. I can't talk to anyone about what's going on in my life because I have to protect people's identity. I can't be honest about what's eating away at me. No one should have to do the things I've done this week; I wouldn't wish these things on my worst enemy. I've been strong, but I don't know if I'm able to be strong anymore. I'm afraid to talk to my housemates about it because I don't want to make anyone feel guilty, I don't want to open up any wounds and I can't afford any conflict. No one should have to go through this alone. But I feel like even if I had a bazillion people to tell and I COULD tell them, coping with this is still so very painfully hard. This is an awesome opportunity for me to be mad at God, but I'm not. I'm praising him for giving me the strength to get me this far. I'm praising him for protecting me and the ppl involved. I'm praising him in advance for the awesome things He's going to do through this.
But right now it fucking sucks.
excuse my language, but I really don't think anything else really explains it properly right now.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
im here to talk. just call me up and set up a coffee date. i know its not the best and at times i seem distant/frazzled. but im here for u. even when u dont want to talk. love glo
this is kind of late/in hindsight, but wow. i dunno if i realized how yucky you were doing...wish I could've been more of a help.
but...on the bright side, God was there all along and never left or forsaked you. good thing He's perfect in every possible way!
Post a Comment