credit cards are evil

you know what sucks? When you make all these trips home and then forget to actually pay them off on your credit card and then end up with $300 on your credit card of stupid trips home that you have to pay for that should have come out of the school year's money but now has to come out of stupid summer cash that could be used to pay for a flight to bordeaux to see a very colourful friend. Blah. I guess I'm going to be slumming it again in order to be more able to go visit. I really want to!!! And Travel Cuts gets really cheap flights. See? Isn't that ridiculous?

please appologize for bursting my bubble

i feel so weird after work today. I worked 1-9 and my bosses weren't there, so it was only me and another that I hadn't worked with before. It was just such a dead shift, which I knew it would be. Thursdays always are apparently. So we tried clothes and earrings on and talked a lot. I found out that she used to be pretty much a crack head in high school, which was interesting. She said she would totally do it all again if she had the chance. After several hours of talking about drugs and drinking and music (yay, the part I could relate too), I just felt so weird.

By the end of the night I felt like I had a spiritual infection or something. It's been a whole year that I've lived in a Christian bubble where my friends all have same or similar convictions about the way they live their lives, and all of a sudden I'm being thrust into a world where people live so differently from me. Drastically different. Usually my bosses are around so we obviously can't talk about the things we were talking about tonight, and I know I didn't overstep any of my own boundaries... but it was just weird. I was reminded of High School when I was the only one who was living the way I do and I always felt the tug/desire of wanting to fit in with my peers and knowing I shouldn't/couldn't. But sometimes I was so close to it, and after tonight I see that I am not free from that; I am not 'in the clear' and I probably will never be. I guess I need to take more of an offensive stance in my spiritual life and prayer life rather than a defensive stance. Weird. I really hope this whole summer isn't like this. What a wake-up call. Welcome to the real world

take me Home

I went home this weekend and it was good. I love my family, even if they make really stupid decisions that hurt the rest of us. I'm realizing that going to my mom's wedding in June is going to be a lot harder than I expected. But God is still good.

I'm also realizing just how much Queen's needs Jesus. I'm realizing that, even though I believe(d) we could change the world, I was missing the urgency that the apostles had. This campus really really needs Jesus and I really really need to start doing something about it. I'm so excited to be a part of this ministry and seeing to it that women are being challenged to go out and reach the campus for Christ.

I'm really excited to see how God is going to rock this campus.

the world is broken.... but there is hope

As I'm writing this, my housemates are downstairs doing wedding hair. Angela spent the last three hours while the rest of us were listening to Romeo Dallaire talk about child soldiers doing Amanda's hair to see how she wants it done for her July wedding. They are blasting Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol, so it's drifting up here to my room as my soundtrack. It's funny how we can be over here, working our 9-5 jobs, taking classes, celebrating new marriages, enjoying our friends' company, doing each others' hair in preparation for a wedding... that all of these things can go on so normally while all over the world the most horrific things are happening: children are being used as weapons, forced to take drugs and kill their families and rape their sisters and then kill more people in 'acts of genocide'.

Dallaire was a great speaker. He was really, really great. He made me think about things from another perspective that I haven't had in awhile. He made me believe that perhaps there is hope. With all this talk about child soldiers and genocide - I often think that there is no way we can figure any of this out, that people are so self-interested and disinterested. But when he spoke today, I thought that perhaps things could change. I got to thinking about some sort of research project that probably could work, I could do my masters in it or something. It's the answer to this question. I'll think about it.