all the world's a stage

I was really tired after work yesterday. Exhausted is a pretty good way to describe it. Exhausted from only getting 8 hours of sleep (lame, I know), from working a long boring shift and then going directly to a potluck with my coworkers and friends of coworkers. Mostly I was tired because I feel like I can't be myself around my coworkers. I feel this way around a lot of new people who aren't Christians (or I don't know them well enough to know they are). I feel like I have to make sure they like me or know that I'm 'normal' because as soon as they find out I'm a real church-going-Jesus-loving Christian they'll write me off as a lunatic, or even worse: a conservative (haha that's a joke). But seriously, I really do miss my non-christian friends who just accept me for who I am, who don't try and get me drunk or don't ridicule me for living my life differently.

I guess part of me also feels like if they reject me - probably the closest thing they'll find to a normal person who still loves God (and I don't mean that in a proud way, but not all Christians are up with the times) - there's little hope for them giving God a chance or opening up to the message of Jesus enough to actually hear what the gospel really is (as opposed to what most people think/assume it is... a bunch of rules to make life difficult and exclude people from heaven or something, i dunno).

Hmm, that last paragraph makes me sound pretty self-righteous and lacking in faith in God. I want to represent Him and my faith well, but I also don't want to appear as fake or desperate for people's friendship or approval. After all, Jesus did say 'If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.' (John 15:18). I need to get over this whole desire/desperation to liked thing/thought of as normal. But on the other hand, if I don't care what people think of me and sound like a religious freak, no one will ever take me seriously enough to hear the things I have to say. Whatever.... in any case, I trust that this will all work out. Eventually I'll get lazy and be normal around my coworkers... or something