i'm clearly not in my own drivers seat

This morning at 8:30AM I found myself in the lobby of a caltholic highschool in Perth, a town 1.5 hours away from my hometown. It has been a year (minus 20 days) since Margaret's and my life collided in a most unusual way. This morning she was going to publicly talk about her experience and invited me to come. I really wanted to hear how she was doing and support her healing process so I actually got up at 6:30 so I could arrive on time.

She hugged me and thanked me profusely for coming and said that I was encouraged to share my perspective of her behaviour as well as how I felt and why I took her to the hospital instead of ignoring the seirous signs she was displaying like everyone else did. When she got infront of this class of students for this mental health awareness day, I was shocked by the things she was telling them. The last time I saw her she was psychotic. She was admitted into the mental health hospital where she was literally locked up because she was becoming violent with people. She admitted to the class that that night she believed she had committed suicide and was trying to travel to heaven. She believed that the exam we were writing had a different component for her that involved her running down busy streets through traffic lights. She admited that her psychosis was pot-induced, over a period of time it started with her just being paranoid when smoking up and then ended up in her mind breaking.

I stood up and shared about my perspective and the things that were going through my mind when Margaret was shouting at me, weeping on me, and nearly hitting me. I admitted that I was concerned what people were thinking of us, and part of me wanted to tell them I didn't actually know her -- that she was a complete stranger. I encouraged the students to break past the social norm of ignoring people in distress and being concerned with our outward appearance to our peers. I encouraged them to have the courage to intervene in the lives of their friends as they show signs of eating disorders, cutting, addiction and to tell someone they trust.

Margaret's mom also got up and spoke about how shocked she was that all of Margaret's housemates didn't tell anyone about Margaret's weird behaviour that she had been displaying for days prior. She explained how shocked she was that when Margaret didn't return to school in January or the following September that none of them called to see what was up. Yet, a total stranger had intervened and been following her up. I, too, was shocked by this. I had no idea the situation I was in when I was in it. I shared honestly that I was SO close to leaving her because of her weird behaviour. Had it not been the still small voice of God telling me it was a divine appointment, I would have peaced out. I wanted to. So bad. I'm so glad I didn't a) because that would have been disobedient and b) Margaret's mom is very adamant about the fact that I saved her daughter's life that night. I think can all agree that God get's credit for that one!

I'm still kind of reeling over the complete lack of compassion the people in her life had for her. And now she's paying the consequences. Her housemates let her get to the point where she COMPLETELY lost it. Nov 26 I admitted her to the hospital and she was still having episodes until February. She is still recovering. It will be a long hard road to being "normal" but she has hope. Her family and doctors are quite sure she can make a full recovery if she gets the help she needs.

As we sat in Tim Horton's after we all spoke, I shared with her how proud I was that she was taking this awful experience and sharing it with others. I also reminded her how she can take solace in God's Sovereignty. That I believe God is totally sovereign and even though it's SO HARD to accept and to hear, that he may have allowed this in order to prepare her for better things He had in store. But the most important thing to realize was that God works for the good of those who love Him who are called according to His purpose.

I reminded her the story of Joseph and how his brothers sold him into slavery, and God used it for the saving of many lives. I told her she needed to stop going through all the "what ifs" in her mind and start facing forward. I shared briefly about another friend I had who went through a similar experience, but she's made a full recovery less than a year later through the Christian counselling she went through. As I explained the difference between Christian counselling and secular counselling -- using the truth of scripture to deal with the problems etc. She seemed to think that was a really good idea and wants to look into the possibility. I know they believe in God but I'm not really sure if they have a personal relationship. Please be in prayer for Margaret and her family as she continues to pick up the pieces and understand why it is that she isn't able to go back to school and graduate with her class. Pray, too, for me as I continue to keep in touch with her and encourage her through this difficult period of her life.

I also got to share about what I'm doing in Montreal and she said she'd think about people who she can tell about what I'm doing. Cool!