Tuesday, November 27, 2007

winning hearts and minds

"Did you just write History 292 exam?"
I turn to look at the girl who is asking me this and reply, "Yes, I did actually."
"Well, how do you think it went?"
"Um, not so great at all," and I laugh awkwardly thinking about the whole semester, how I hated the class and avoided it, how I skipped many lectures and a lot of the tutorials because they drove me crazy and, incidentally, also didn't do many of the readings.
"I'm sure you did well. Why don't you think you did well?" she asks in this really weird motherly tone and I told her just what I had been thinking about the classes etc.
"Well how do you expect to learn if you never go to class?"
Who is this girl and why is she talking to me again?
"Hmm, well it's actually more that I have a bunch of other more important classes and this one gets shoved to the side a bit," I say trying to remain calm.
"Well, you have to make priorities, don't you."
Indeed. Right now, I want to walk to the library, do something for 45 minutes and get back to class. Please stop talking to me.
"Exactly," I say and reflect on how this conversation is really weird. There's just something about her that's kind of eerie. I keep walking with her mostly because I don't really have a reason to abandon her yet. "So what are you up to?"
"Well, i'm going to the Last Lecture On Earth series. My english professor is giving it. You should come. I think you could really benefit from what he is going to say."
Um, what? At this point, I've been clued in to the fact that this conversation is beyond the ordinary, and beginning to think its some sort of divine appointment.
"Really. What topic is he speaking on?"
"You know, language and speaking. How to break through to the next level, really, you know?"
Space case! This girl is clearly tripping on something.
"Hmm."
I don't really remember where the conversation goes at this point, but I ask her if she's ok and she replies that she isn't really, she's working through some things. She seemed like she didn't really have anyone to talk to about it, so I asked her if she needed to talk. I anticipated an opportunity to share God's love. I didn't anticipate an opportunity to do so by taking a stranger to the Hospital because was so mentally unstable I was concerned to leave her out in public at night.

As our conversation continued she would swing from laughing hysterically to weeping by my feet on her knees. She talked of not seeing colour for 9 years, of travelling the world with her diplomat father and being tired of pretending to be all these things. She talked of going to Greece and saying they had "too much culture. You know, some culture is good, but too much is bad. Theirs was bad. There was so much deception and HATE. There was SO MUCH HATE." and she bursts into anguished tears again. The voices in her head, apparently, were really low pitched and spoke of these lies, this deception and hate. At this point, I was in a hospital room that was being monitored by surveillance.

I really didn't want to be there in that room with her. I really actually wanted to be in my stupid lecture than be there. But at the same time, it was pretty clear no one else had had the love or the sense to bring her to get help, so I stayed until the doctor let me leave. All I know is her first name and the name of a friend that she kept talking about, saying that she "Just needed to push through for her and Sabrina."

I was really disturbed by the events, to my surprise. I got really anxious about it and then when I was walking home just felt really weird, very much like I was being followed. I prayed with my housemates about it, and after we had prayed I felt so much better and free from whatever was bothering me. I did get the opportunity to share the gospel with her, but I'm not sure if she was able to really understand, I don't even know if she'll remember me. But I slipped a Knowing God Personally booklet into her coat pocket. Pray for Margaret.

1 comment:

Rainbow Choi =) said...

wowwiee.... way to choose being available in His grace. definitely prayers for margaret