on chivalry

Whoever said chivalry is dead might be partly on to something. I think this is one instance where feminism thought it won, but really lost out on something big. I personally enjoy chivalry a lot. I used to think it was kind of stupid because I felt like it was this tactic for men to remind us that they are powerful or something stupid like that. But this week I had a few unusual experiences with chivalry. I have some friends who have guy friends who are pretty hard core about how to treat a Lady, but I can't say that my guy friends have the same views.

This week, I was shocked at my appreciation of this guy who didn't just do the average hold-the-door-sort-of-open-while-you-follow-through-behind-it thing. He walked completely out of the door, stood there holding it open while I walked entirely out of it. I said thanks, but I didn't say it in the way that I really meant it because I didn't realize how much it actually meant to me until after. It made my day!

And then tonight something similarly unusual happened: a guy friend offered to cut a piece of pizza for me. Now, looking back on that (and trying to see this from your perspective, dear reader) that seems pretty bizarre and possibly on the controlling side (I'll have you know he cut it bigger than I wanted, so we can't argue that he was suggesting I should lose weight). I knew his intent was to serve me in a meaningful way and not to take away my agency. It was unusual, but I appreciated it a lot. Who knew such a simple act could be so nice? I think the awkward thing that I just realized is that I'm not treated like 'one of the guys', but at the same time my guy friends don't really treat me like a lady either. So I guess that means we're placed in this weird androgynous purgatory of sorts. Hmm.