conviction!

This weekend was a really wonderful weekend for me. It started Thursday night. As a DG the servant team girls decided to bake Christmas goodies and send them around to some of the guys houses to show our appreciation for them. I really enjoy baking and so it was lots of fun for me. It was probably one of my favourite memories of the semester. Then Friday night at our weekly meeting with C4C, the worship team had 3 violinists, a fiddle, a cello, guitar, piano and Sarah (my housemate) and I sang with Kathryn. It was so fun! Stringed instruments bring such joy to my heart. Then Saturday, Julia, Sarah and I drove to Montreal in the afternoon and went to a Stars concert. Before we got to hang out with Andy and Loni (staff in MTL) and chat with them for a bit, which was really great. Lydia, the girls and I went to the concert and met some other staff in MTL (Heather and Brad) and then enjoyed the concert together. It was soooooooooo good. Like sooooo amazing. I really enjoyed it. It totally made me love their music that much more (and I was already listening to it every day).

Sunday morning Lydia and I went out to breakfast and it was really helpful. She said something to me that didn't really blow my mind that much when she first said it, but as I was thinking about it later on when I was doing my devo, I was like "Wow, this is so true." I'm kind of surprised I didn't think of it earlier because I know its a verse she quotes a lot:

The heart is deceitful above all things,
and desperately sick;
who can understand it?
(Jeremiah 17:9)

I was convicted by this because I know that I've been listening to my own desires of where I'd like to go in the future. Just because I'm weary and sick of campus ministry right now doesn't mean that God isn't calling me there. So I was convicted about that. I've become stubborn and really not wanting to join staff because I know it will be hard and I'll have to draw on this lesson of endurance that God has been teaching me this semester. So after this conversation with her I'm more back on track to accepting my acceptance, but I probably wont make the decision officially until after Winter Conference. At this point, I imagine I will accept, but I just want to be in a completely normal frame of reference when I do it. Plus, it's just scary to actually make a commitment right now for my future.