I'm back at it. Getting into the swing of things again. I don't think I will ever really enjoy MPD, I have to admit. But I'm starting to see my insecurities and weaknesses in it and I know it will make me a way better person. In the past few weeks I have seriously questioned whether I'm cut out for it or not and I concluded that I am not. I can do a lot of things but this I can't.
So I'm going to let you in on a little secret: I fake things. A lot. I don't mean I lie or plagiarize, I just mean that I fake confidence when inside I'm freaking out. I make it look like on the outside I have confidence but really inside I'm repeating "Help me Jesus! Help me Jesus!" Tonight when I try and make phone calls I will be trying to fake even to myself that I can do this, that I'm capable (or at least that Christ in me is).
I can tell you that it's good practice, cause when I get to campus I'm going to be faking it allllllll the time cause I feel neither confident nor qualified like I did before.
Thats me, fake-y-fakerrr
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2 comments:
it is so hard...
i wish i could make some calls for you sister... or rather have brad make them (can you believe he actually LIKES those dreaded calls?)
loving you...
fake it till u make it sista! :P
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