stress, strain, pressure, (nervous) tension, worry, anxiety, trouble, difficulty

I'm starting to stress out. What usually happens in October is happening for me right now. There's just so much to do and so little time. I hate the prospect of me falling behind in my classes is really irritating me (i'm already really behind, and things were going SO WELL. I have this paper due Wednesday morning and I just don't have the time to write it! I mean, things would be OK if our libraries had info on the topic, but it's just not working out. I seriously don't know how its going to happen.

I think everything would have probably been ok had that essay and my giant seminar presentation that I have to present on Monday. But I also have another application due Thursday and then my whole day on Saturday is devoted to another application process - I actually have to physically be somewhere doing group-building activities while they evaluate me. So saturday really doesn't even count, except for the evening. I've been such a hermit and have had no social interaction this entire semester except with CFC people. Which, wasn't too much of a problem to me until now. I think when I'm stressed I need a change of scenery. It makes me feel like I'm not actually involved in the crappy stressness.

But then I talked to a friend that I haven't seen in awhile... a friend i LIVED with last year. I seriously haven't seen any of my floormates at all really this semester. It's especially bad because there's only 4 weeks left of the semester. Four measly weeks. I haven't really talked to them because they haven't ever invited me out to things so i keep figuring that they don't want me around. But judging from O's reaction last night when we talked, she was pretty upset. Also she said, "I feel like you don't exist this year." Which is totally ouch, but not at all MY desire. Like, I didn't WANT our friendship to sort of die out. I just didn't have anything in common with them anymore proximity wise, but also after so long you miss out on all the inside jokes and you feel like a foreigner. AND did I mention nobody made it seem like I was missed? Maybe its all a misunderstanding and they were like "fine if she's being a bitch then we don't want her around". I dunno. But its not helping my stress factor when i feel like i have something MORE to add to my list of things to do. People should feel like an addition to a to-do list. That's horrible. But i'm a horrible person when I'm stressed. (= a "D" in the DISC personality test)

Although, the more I think about it, the more I want to just go out for a night on the town with O on friday and totally skip out on C4C stuff. Ahh that would be awesome.

You know what also doesn't help? When you're being like "AHH I'M SO STRESSED AND THIS IS WHY" to your housemates and they answer with "you should do this, and this and this" a)I didn't ask for your suggestions and b)did I say you could talk???

SEE haha i'm evil. Where's gloria when I need her? Not that gloria is evil, she just broods well.