fact over feeling

Yesterday I was thinking about how a year and a half ago I started to investigate certain doctrinal issues more closely, namely election. As I've investigated more and more I've come to accept and appreciate it. In fact, in the last several months I've really come to find comfort in this theology that keeps God's Sovereignty at the heart of it. In difficult times, I can rest assured that God is sovereign.

Today was another crappy day. Last week was great, this week not so much. At what was probably my worst moments of the day I found these words that Job said:

He has walled up my way, so that I cannot pass,
and he has set darkness upon my paths. (Job 19:8 ESV)

The ESV Study Bible note on this verse says:

God's fence had at first kept trouble away from Job (1:10), but now it was a wall that gave Job no way of escape (cf. 3:23). The very scale of his suffering is, for Job, a sign of its divine origin.

God's Sovereignty can feel so wonderful at times and in moments of despair it can feel like a crime against me. Knowing that God allowed me to feel this, allowed me to feel disappointment after disappointment after disappointment. But I know that's the depression talking.

I guess this is just another opportunity for me to learn to love and praise him for what I intellectually know is a very very good thing but right now on this bad day doesn't feel so nice.

Beni soit le nom de Seigneur.